This is a compendium of particular use to animal control officers and those trying to manage animal control law enforcement. It is based on real-life "war stories" from thirty-five years ago when Mike Burgwin was just beginning to work at professionalizing this special subdivision of police work and separate it from humane societies. People tell every "dog catcher," they should write a book. Well -- I DID! Some of it is outrageous. Some of it is pretty philosophical. It is NOT conventional!