In the beginning there were no toilets and there was no toilet paper, butt we each had to deal with the same amount of shit we've always had to deal with. This is the history of how we learned to deal with our shit by wiping it away.
Butt wait, there's more! The results from testing old and scary implements of wiping are included, as is emergency toilet paper, and the current state of wiping is explored.
Oh, and it starts with a great quote.