MySpace is what we had before we discovered Facebook and began driving our young folk into the darker recesses of Instagram and WhatsApp, before everyone became a musician and flooded us with band noises of variable quality, and just before the whole thing collapsed under the weight of animated glitter bombs. These snippets are drawn from that recent past. They are largely true if a little fictionalised, (very fictionalised if you think you recognise yourself), and of virtually no social value. You might find them a bit funny though because obviously I do.