The instant those words hit the air I couldnÕt breathe. My friend Tera, who had been with me along with my father, took my hand, and we walked out of that hospital room and off the ICU unit for the last time. I honestly canÕt recall the specific details of what happened next. It was all a blur. Fifty-nine days before our third wedding anniversary, MY HUSBAND DIED. My FatherÕs close friend, the late Dr. Arthur Holmes had a saying, ÒThere is nothing more final than death.Ó As with many things in life, I didnÕt fully comprehend the depth of that statement until I experienced it myself. My journey was ugly, violent and at times humiliating. Being that it is in fact a journey, it is all those things as well as funny, hopeful and yes, I can now even say beautiful.