Life is full of surprises, some of which you see coming and some that sneak up behind you and hit you on the back of the head. My head, I suspect, has been hit more times than most, sometimes with a rolled-up newspaper, and sometimes with something a little harder. This potpourri of reminiscences shines a light into the antics of a retired schoolboy/teenager/technology salesman as he bumbles his way through life, looking to do as little damage as possible. He fails, of course.