Brian Toudic has the sort of life you'd be disappointed to find in a Christmas cracker. He's short, chubby, bald, out of work, and penniless. He cowers in the shadow of his glamorous and successful friend Ezra. He's been rejected by his plastic blow-up doll. Can it get any worse? It just did. Brian starts a pointless degree, acquires a girlfriend by mistake, and is sucked into the dog-eat-dog world of canine humping.