Lucosade Upnorth and his Russian wife, Itzkolda, have been under cover, deep duvet cover, for seven years, in a shepherd's hut on the north side of Skiddaw. Now he is back on the Grid, and his country needs him. This parody of a spy thriller contains the declassified files of three of his operations. The Andchips File Ð A British pie firm is being taken over, piemakers are under threat, and international blackmail is in the offing. The Bondaid File Ð International master criminal Dr Ohnoitsyu sets up a Research and Development facility on a Hebridean island. Meanwhile Lucosade Upnorth, as Dr Oleg O'Lambie, ballistics expert, infiltrates the stronghold. The Pinkyperky File Ð CIA Agent Sarah Cauliflower, an old flame of Lucosade Upnorth, goes missing whilst looking into a threat to the British Banger. The team have to find Agent Cauliflower and the virus that could ruin the British pig industry before it is too late.