Guilt is about doing or not doing something. ItÕs about action: ÔI stole an apple, so I feel guilty because the action was wrong. IÕve wrongfully taken something from somebody else.Õ ThatÕs guilt.
Guilt can become shame when you internalise it. Instead of simply relating it to an action, you might say: ÔIÕm a thief. IÕm a bad person. I donÕt deserve to ever eat again because IÕve taken food from others.Õ Shame moves beyond simple action to identification. ItÕs about who you feel you are: ÔIÕm wrong. IÕm a bad person. IÕm not good enough.Õ Or maybe you feel you need to visit your sick aunt, but then you donÕt go, and she passes away. You feel guilty because you didnÕt do it, but It becomes shame when you go beyond the action and identify with it: ÔIÕm a careless person. IÕm selfish.Õ ThatÕs the difference. And thatÕs also why guilt and shame are sometimes confused or linked together.